Blond with a Bullet...

http://twitpic.com/1c9qqj - Best Neighbor Ever xoxo

And I’m not even telling y’all what I just did to my lady bits!! #vegasPrep #cringe xoxo

RT @TheSexist RT @ truculent If you’re wondering why some of the greatest writers were drunks, it’s because writing is fucking PAINFUL.

new driver..charles..following in ABDUL’s footsteps wont be easy…<3 a driver that will hold your hair & bear hug you at the airport xoxo

Homeless asking 4 $ but then had to take a call -on his iPhone -him: I told ya not to call me @ work! Me: gotta go Him: deal ya later - #wow

RT @slummymummy9 @John_irvine where are you bitch? Ditto

invited on a fancy yacht trip - dating millionaires pays off - even if it doesn’t work out most are generous w/ thier stuff/houses! xoxo

Annnd I just took a cab 3 blocks #newLouboutins xoxo

If he hasn’t checked in/confirmedby 630 am I off the hook? xoxo

No matter which mgr you call over - your ez pass will NOT open the garage- it WILL give him a good laugh #eyeroll #blond xoxo

And for the record - NEW assistant is pretty much worse than NO assistant *sigh* xoxo

and… a pair of panties just fell out of my pants leg… xoxo #blond

Also hard to look sexy tripping up the stairs - #ihateflipflops xoxo

Don’t care how cute your weiner is - it’s hard to look sexy carrying a bog of it’s poo #imjustsaying xoxo

I just want to say that the #bonjovi crowd did NOT disapoint! xoxo #wow #1987calledwantsitshairback

RT @MonsieurAK47 @suicide_blond mdr la blonde - #understatement ciao xoxo

Mani/pedi - highlights- waxed girly bits- vodka tonics- new louboutins- #VegasPrepInFullEffect xoxo

RT @wasitforthis Just realized I went through the day with mascara only on my right eye. #whyimsingle xoxo

Changing clothes in my car- Mondays- on related note I’m addin contortionist to my resume xoxo

RT @jesus: I just ousted Dad as the Mayor of the world.

http://twitpic.com/1bk9dj - Adler - mr & mrs muse - a study in lipstick red

http://twitpic.com/1bk359 - Adler Mr & Mrs Muse - salt n pepper awww xoxo

RT @John_Irvine Russia reduces # of its time zones to 9 from 11 to make nation more manageable <- for my compulsion !!! xoxo

Soooooo I want to have cameras installed at my house - not for security so I can check on the dog - #sadbuttrue xoxo

RT @taylorjacobsonn Can’t believe ice cube came out at jay z concert..amazing concert - does this mean ice cube is gay? Just curious? xoxo

RT @playazball #24 ending in May. @RickAllen on suicide watch. :-0 xoxo

RT @slummymummy9 @suicide_blond Or the fact that *I* would *ever* take public transportation #hilarious - just thought you terribly “green”

My boob keeps spontaneously jumping outta my bra - have to say I’m impressed with its agility - and timing :-0 xoxo

RT @bobalouie Hispanic guy reading Gabriel García Marquez´s “100 Years of Solitude” on my bus. Awesome. I COULD love that man #givehimmy# xo

RT @bobalouie Suicide blonde (dyed by my own hand): http://twitgoo.com/lweid. Hey that’s my line!!! xoxo

RT @avapidblonde Honestly @girljungle there is no such thing as a too drunk to go to walmart.

Saw it too! RT @John_Irvine OMG, it looks like someone overshot the parking space at Hill High.car is almost vertically stuck in the gutter

#scottPligim *love* RT @bishopia i just heard the street fighter “K.O.” in the Scott Pilgrim trailer. Yay!

i think @anncurry just booty tweeted…how cute is tha?!! lol

Was soooo worried bout the dogs - that I walked out of the house without MY suitcase! #fail xoxo

i like my men like i like my houses over the top…and clean… xoxo #sexgame

Constitution is a clusterfuck -the avenue not the document - xoxo

Live tweeting the blood letting- iron low - force fed cookies & continued xoxo #redcross #trueblood xoxo

http://twitpic.com/1aocx9 - Snack selection on #bloodmobile isn’t what I had hoped for - #pillsBeforePretzals

and yes i will be …listening to the #trueblood theme song during the blood letting…

i would like to dedicate my 3pm appt to donate blood to @alexanderSkarsgard ..
you sexy beast.. xoxo #TrueBlood

scarfing benefiber and granola like its my job xoxo

have worn a hole in elbow of my fave cardigan… i feel like a dickens character… with better hair… xoxo

Covered in puppies - must fight my way out of bed - xoxo

http://twitpic.com/1aipya - On the 2nd day- the weiner met the yorkie - cuteness ensued #couldaGoneEitherWay

http://twitpic.com/1ahxzo - That’s a cute weiner!

is it just me or does everyone agree that “Brown Sugar Munch” sounds more like a porno than a granola snack? xoxo

Hanging @ cargo hanger @ airport -almost midnight-feels soooo dirty #miamivice and when I say dirty I mean cheesy xoxo

Just killing time waiting for my weiner xoxo #weinerlove

Not gonna lie: a clean house makes me horny - and….. the circus is in the front yard #andimnotlying xoxo